Last night I had a very nice long chat with Y, It was a very sweet chat and nothing bad at all came up, i felt it was a nice end to the day of valentines but just as I was going to be i got a Skype call from Oz... when it connects I see a face of someone I know yet not know, tears streaming down her face, makeup all smushed...
She was in trouble but other than a vage sex refence I did not know what... She preseeds to tell me that She had done crystal meft, been up for like 4 days and after a little working around I find out what had happened... I just tried to console her and make her feel a little normal, She was in a right state and only had wifi in the comom areas of the hostel she was staying in.
Then her phone died and I was left wondering all kinds of things... Images running through my head of what happened.might have happened... it got to the point when i throw up and just felt sick to my stumic - I couldn't sleep after that so I have to have a Valium myself to help.
This morning i did managed to get back in touch and find out she is ok (or at least i hope she is telling my true)
Part of me is so worried about her as i still do really care for her but she has hardly been in contact since she left... but I guess i should feel good that she did think of me and of all the people she could call it was my face she wanted to see - That being said is this the only time she will think of me? Will I be that person who only see's when is needed?
I need to move on with my life but there is still some things pulling me back, I wish thinks could be different but i wonder if she is going through the same as i did in my 29th year? should i be a friendly hand to help, should i be a lover in the wings that hopes things might return or should I just cut all ties and move on with my life without her.,,
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